Help My Mommy

Jessica and husband Keaton

“Help my mommy” are reportedly the words that a 4 year old girl said when a passerby stopped his vehicle to investigate a fresh gash in a tree off the road near Naselle earlier today. An article from the Chinook Observer is linked here: http://www.chinookobserver.com/free/mother-identified-in-tragic-crash-between-naselle-and-astoria/article_222fe9ea-7bac-11e2-9ee3-0019bb2963f4.html

Daughters Aryanna and Lylah

But basically what appears to have happened is 26 year old Jessica Rath was driving home after midnight with her 2- and 4-year old daughters in the car when the car left the road and struck a tree. Jessica died at the scene. Two very young children were left alive but injured, in the dark, for an estimated 8+ hours, with a deceased mother. How terribly sad! And what a terrific relief that a stranger took the time to check into something that  “struck him as weird” as he was driving past. I can’t even imagine what might have happened had he not stopped. 

During the KGW newscast regarding this story tonight, it said this young mother, Jessica, fell asleep. Driving while drowsy. Well, any way you look at it, if this is the case, she unintentionally but very preventably caused this tragedy. That sounds so callous of me to say. I’m going to leave it that way, though, hopefully to underscore that so many of us repeatedly do things behind the wheel of our cars that are dangerous and while we’re doing these things we make excuses in our minds… if we’re thinking about it at all. 

Who among us hasn’t had the thought “Boy, I’m tired. I probably shouldn’t be driving”? I know I have. And I’ve also followed that thought with, “Oh, I’ll be okay. It’s not that bad. I’ll 1) roll down my window, 2) turn the music up really loud, 3) insert your own strategy.”  I even know that I did in fact actually fall asleep once while driving home from a graveyard shift at Denny’s. Thankfully I made it home okay to my two (at that time) little boys. 

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) said on 1/7/13: “Although it may be difficult to attribute a fatal vehicle crash to drowsy driving, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that 2.5% of fatal crashes and 2% of injury crashes involve drowsy driving.² These estimates are probably conservative, though, and up to 5,000 or 6,000 fatal crashes each year may be caused by drowsy drivers. 3-5” (#2 references a 2011 NHTSA publication, 3-5 references reports of these organizations: 2006 Association for the Advancement of Automobile Medicine, 2006 Virginia DOT, and 2010 AAA ). The National Sleep Foundation (referenced by both the CDC and NHTSA) said in a 2007 report that 1550 people die and 71,000 are injured annually. 

Here are some signs that should tell a driver to stop and rest:

• Difficulty focusing, frequent blinking, or heavy eyelids
• Daydreaming; wandering/disconnected thoughts
• Trouble remembering the last few miles driven; missing exits or traffic signs
• Yawning repeatedly or rubbing your eyes
• Trouble keeping your head up
• Drifting from your lane, tailgating, or hitting a shoulder rumble strip
• Feeling restless and irritable

And what appears to be a universal recommendation if you are driving drowsy:

Stop driving immediately. Pull over at a safe spot and take a quick nap. 

There are other suggestions, like stop for a cup of coffee, change drivers, etc., but even these are just other ways of saying Stop driving immediately. 

Nobody wants to have their two little girls stranded and injured outside a vehicle containing their dead mother’s body, especially when it was totally preventable. (And of course, other bad driving behaviors could lead to the same thing). Horrible!

He's Dead and I'm Grateful Why?

What's there to be grateful for when your child's life is stolen in the space of an instant with no warning?

That. 

I'm grateful that Dustin's life ended in the space of an instant and that all evidence indicates he had no warning. I like to picture it as Dustin just riding along on his bike thinking happy thoughts about the evening he'd just spent with friends. He was doing one of the things he most enjoyed in the world (biking!), he had just been planning a trip to the beach with people he had loved for a long time, and he was happier in his life and with himself than I had ever known him to be. 

He was going to college and doing well. He was not only participating in groups and activities of great interest to him, but he was progressing as a leader and as an informed and intelligent commentator. It was not only a great honor to him but also a testament to his ability and likability that he went to his first Americans United for Separation of Church and State in February 2011 and was voted to the board just three months later. He was so thrilled! He organized AUs participation in the Portland Gay Pride Parade and was slated to organize their participation in the Vancouver Peace and Justice Fair. http://nwfreethought.org/index.php/dustin-finney-memorial-award.html#.URSbEmfoaSo

As evidence of how well he was thought of in life, in memorium, he is being honored with the Dustin Finney Memorial Award to be given for the first time at the Northwest Freethought Alliance conference in April. This is an award of $500 for school books for students of Environmental Science who are also participating in community activities, like Dustin was. http://nwfreethought.org/index.php/dustin-finney-memorial-award.html#.URSbEmfoaSo

And of course, he had the profound love and pride of his mother and step-father, sisters and brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles, other biological family members, and his friends who were and still are his other family. He was such a loving and intelligent man. We miss him so much!

So, more I think than anything else in my life, I am deeply grateful that he died in an instant with no warning.

Despair and Disbelief: Same Words, Different Voices

 "Different day, same shit." You've heard this saying. I find it sickening that it applies to fatal hit-and-run crashes, of which there was another last week. Actually, the saying is applicable to all crashes, but here I'm focusing on those of us affected by hit-and-run tragedies. Below, I've documented the stories of real people and the sentiments of their loved ones, starting with the most recently killed: Same words, different voices.

Harley Rocher, 18

1/15/13: pedestrian, found dead on the side of a residential street. 

"They have no idea who they took from this earth," said Harley's mother, Tammi Beers, to the media.  "He was wise beyond his years and so responsible. I hope they can find whoever did this. I want them to understand that Harley was the kind of person who would do the right thing. He was the kind of person who would take responsibility. And he died alone. I just want to know what happened. I don’t understand how somebody could live with themself.” Outcome: Killer is still at large, vehicle was “teal” colored.

Tatyana Tupikova, 22

5/9/12: pedestrian, found 5/11/12 in a ditch along State Route 503; she’d been missing 2 days. 

“Today we are here to ask for the public’s help,” her sister Olga told reporters. “Please help us find out what happened that night… Tatyana was always cheerful, outgoing and full of life… and was a caring person, often putting others before herself and always staying involved in family activities.” Outcome: Killer is still at large, no details known.

Nancy Schoeffler, 63

3/21/12: pedestrian, found dead on Burnside.

“My mother was an amazing woman with a heart of gold,” Solara Schoeffler told the media. “After spending her whole life taking care of others, her life was cut short by two women who left her in the street to die, and went to great lengths to cover it up.” Outcome: Driver arrested 2 months later due to tips. Ashley Chavez, 23, pleaded guilty to Manslaughter 2, DUII, Felony Hit-and-Run. Sentence: 75 months; 5 others received 10-60 days for their part in helping to cover up the crime. 

 

Dustin Finney, 28

8/12/11: killed in a bike lane in view of witnesses, including another bicyclist who was also struck. 

“When Dustin decided to do something… nothing could stop him,” I told  Ashawntae Rosemon, 18, in my Victim Impact Statement. “Well, nothing stopped him until you struck him from behind and threw him 175 feet to die and then left him like a piece of garbage on the dirty pavement of Division Street. You stopped this young man whom friends described as ‘on fire,’ ‘tireless,’ ‘a warrior,’ ‘a leader.’ ... You stopped him cold.” Outcome: Driver arrested an hour later after ditching the car. Pleaded guilty to Criminally Negligent Homicide, Felony Hit-and-Run, DUII, and Vehicular Assault of a Bicyclist (for the injured second bicyclist). Sentence: 60 months.

Michael Vu, 18

7/31/11: bicyclist, found in the bike lane along a residential road.

“You left Miky to die at the side of the road that night and went home to your bed," said uncle Garland Smith, addressing Artyom Pavlenko during court. "We will miss Miky every day for the rest of our lives. He was such a joy. Like a thief in the night, you robbed us of Miky's presence."  Outcome: Driver turned himself in next day and eventually pleaded guilty to Failure to Perform  the Duties of a Driver. Sentence: 18 months.

Thomas Mossman, 67

3/31/11: bicyclist, found in a ditch on a country road on 3/22.

“It’s hard to comprehend. I don’t think this person is actually a person. I mean, I don’t understand how anyone can leave someone on the road to die. I don’t understand it.” Statement of daughter Marcy Parfitt to the media. Thomas was “someone who paid attention to detail, was a leader and who genuinely wanted to help others.” Outcome: 26 year old Jacob Croall turned himself in 2 ½ weeks after the crash, was charged with Failure to Perform the Duties of a Driver and Tampering with Evidence. Sentence: unknown.

Gordon Patterson, 50

9/15/09: killed in broad daylight while riding in a bike lane.

“Hi, I’m Carrie Patterson, Gordon Patterson’s wife. We were married 23 years. But a distraction on a text message caused his death.” Carrie Patterson addresses Antonio Cellestine, 18, (and one of her husband’s students) during the sentencing. “He impacted thousands with his life. And we can only imagine how many more it would have been if he was still here.”  Outcome: Antonio was arrested the day after the crash due to witness tips and eventually pleaded guilty to Vehicular Homicide and Felony Hit-and-Run. Sentence: 5 years. 

These wonderful people lived in just our tiny corner of the world, but these kinds of tragedies are happening everywhere, everyday.Different day, same shit.

Award-worthy Dustin!

Proud Mom! Dustin Finney Memorial facebook friends have already been notified that Dustin was so respected and liked that his memory is being commemorated by the Northwest Free-Thought Alliance. They now have the Dustin Finney Memorial Award, an award of $500 toward books to upper level and graduate Environmental Science students. 2013 is the first year for this and I’ve been told that rather than increase the amount of the award, the goal in future years is to increase the number of recipients. 

http://nwfreethought.org/index.php/dustin-finney-memorial-award.html 

I feel very honored and proud to be invited to the conference being held in Portland in April where the first award will be presented. My understanding is that I will even be able to address the audience and share a little about Dustin. That is awesome. I love to talk about Dustin! 

Dustin and his brother Logan attended the conference in 2011 and had a great time. I remember Dustin being very excited because of the people he met and how he felt that he was starting to really become involved in what he cared about. Below is a blog one of the attendees wrote about his meeting with Dustin and how he felt upon hearing of his death.

http://www.dwnomad.com/?s=dustin+finney

…If only Dustin could know how loved and cared about he was/is…